"Art is coming face to face with yourself."

-Jackson Pollock

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Maltese is Like a Cloud Floating Through the Sky

Cameron Seistrup
3-16-2001 to 3-1-2011

I apologize for not posting in awhile, but there is good reason. I have been spending a lot of time with our beloved little Cameron (look for him in one of my very early posts, he was my studio mate). He has been a very sick little doggy. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. They thought with proper meds he would be with us another two, maybe even three or four years. However, after 7 months and increasing his meds just a few days ago, he suddenly took a turn for the worse last evening. He tried to tough it out, bless him, it was very difficult. I was lucky to have been blessed to be there with him to ease his pain as much as possible. He managed to give me his last few sweet tiny kisses, he was so weak. You see the Maltese breed's sole purpose in life is to please his Master, and THAT he did, right to the end. His loss is devastating to say the least. He's my one and only dog I've ever had.

For some odd reason, this song has been playing over and over in my car the past few weeks. I was drawn to it, but at the time I didn't realize why. I now know it would prepare me for what was to come. I got in my empty, quiet car for the long drive home from the emergency hospital with out him and turned the key and this song was playing. I've listened to it a zillion times today, re-playing the past 24 hrs in my head, as if I could do something to change the days event into something other than what had taken place.

by JEM

Go to bed, everything's alright
Don't know the whole world's changing
As you sleep through the night
Wake up slowly and it's a different world

Hear the news and the floods begin
Screams so loud but only felt within
Heart is shattered
The pieces can't be found

I feel your pain
I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, he would want you to

Months go by still living in a daze
Don't know what you've done
With the past seven days
Soul is numb and life is like a dream

Helping hands but you push them away
How could they understand
Don't wanna share your pain
Afraid to heal 'cause that would mean goodbye

I feel your pain
I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, he would want you to

One day sunlight hits a photograph
And it makes you smile
The memories dance around you now
And they make you smile

You're not alone you'll never be
Just like the stars they oversee
And they whisper to you you're still, you're still
You're still alive

I feel your pain
I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, he would want you to

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sun ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die

I need everyone's prayers and hugs. One more favor, stop what you are doing right now and pick up your companion and look deep into his or her eyes and tell them just how much you love and appreciate them. They are special gifts from above to love and cherish every minute of everyday. Wish I could have the last 24 hrs back to tell him even MORE than I did, just how much I loved him.

To my little Cameron, when I look to the sky on each beautiful cloud filled day, you will always be floating along with me in my heart... forever my sweet boy!
'Til we meet again.


Studio 13 by Carrie said...

Oh Kim, I am so sorry for you!! Having known the love of those sweet little maltese, I am feeling your pain. Hugs from Us!!!

Piper said...

Kimber......thinking of you, hope you've gotten a nice tan in Las Vegas and that your travels went well. Here is the link for Brene Brown's website....http://www.ordinarycourage.com/. Piper

Paula:) said...

Kimber - thinking of you. So sorry about your pooch. I found your card in my purse. It has been traveling around in there for months and I keep pulling it out and putting it back in. Well it fell out of my purse today and I thought - I need to email this lovely lady for some reason. AND now I see why your card kept visiting me so many times. My thoughts are with you, hang in there! hugs,
Paula Hardesty:)

Cindy Swan-Eagan said...

I am so so sorry for you. Our companions are members of our families, and their loss leaves a void.

Mary C. Nasser said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Can't imagine losing my Daphne.

Found you through the Artist blog hop.
I am your newest blog follower.

Mary C. Nasser

Irene said...

I am sorry you lost your sweet Cameron. The special bond we have with our four legged companions cannot be replaced or compared. My thought are with you.

Sunny Carvalho said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that has got to be very hard. I loved the lyrics, they seem to have been written just for you. xoxo

Sunny Carvalho said...

Thanks for coming over to my blog. In answer to your statement about not being able to get started blogging again, I think the biggest thing is just to jump on in! I think getting started is the hardest part. Once you've done that first post, the rest starts to get easier! Thank you for the comment on my pendants! xoxo